I’ve been posting something that I have written every day for the last month, and it’s taught me a few things - maybe the biggest thing is that I am not alone in my struggles. But here’s a list of the other stuff (including the struggles).

1) NOBODY can find jeans that fit. Pants are just one of the great lies of human civilization.

2) People really aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are. Not that you don’t matter, but you really don’t. You (I) spend far more time worrying about what other people think than the amount of time you’ll ever spend casually strolling across anyone else’s mind, so get over yourself (me).

3) Even the most confident people question themselves.

4) Usually the most confident people are wrong, so they SHOULD question themselves.

5) NOBODY KNOWS WTF THEY ARE DOING, so don’t listen when somebody pretends like they have it figured out (including me, in this post).

6) More people are listening than you know. Words have power. Wield them well, but also, see #2.

7) The answer is always no if you don’t ask.

8) Say yes to yourself whenever possible.

9) It’s ok to feel shitty and have bad days. It’s not okay to stay there and not try to fix it. On a related note, cashews help release serotonin.

10) Social media is the downfall of community. Stay with me here:

These virtual relationships have replaced all of our real ones, and while it’s really easy to bitch and moan about it, this is the world we have created for our kids and we’ve got to either get in the arena with them and fight to fix it or shut it out and deny it while they eat one another like zombies.

Social media engagement is a multi-faceted weapon that can do more harm than good unless we all choose to accept the ugly reality that it isn’t going away and we have to push back from within. I’ve been guilty of withdrawing, of shutting down, of hitting my own mute button when my opinions lost me friends - ones I thought were IRL friends, on social media. That taught me that I, like every other keyboard warrior, need to temper my opinions with humility and curiosity, I need to be questioning the things I believe so that no question posed to me from outside is a threat. I need to model kindness and generosity but not be afraid to hold my own truth without imposing it on anyone else.

We don’t hit like buttons because we’re afraid that people are watching and they might judge us for following too closely, being on too much, or just for our support of a thing they might think is dumb. It’s online snobbery, we try to paint ourselves up like something we aren’t, lurking in the background and hoping no one notices. I am guilty of this.

I am committed to hitting the like button, making the comment. Letting you know I SEE YOU, even if I disagree with you or you’re a little bit annoying. This is the only community some of us have anymore, this is the legacy we are leaving the next generation who WILL be governing this world someday. This isn’t even a national crisis, this is global. We have to be unafraid to be involved with each other.

We can’t be shut down by the bullies who are disappointed that our beliefs don’t align with theirs. We can’t allow our own insecurities and judgements keep us from acknowledging each other in humility and compassion. I am preaching to myself right here because this is where I live. I have been shut down. I have withheld interactions. I’ve even argued in the comments and called names (ok, not as much as I wanted to). I have been intimidated and depressed by “influencers” who make me feel inadequate (see my thoughts on influencers below). I have been part of the toxicity of social media.

My intent moving forward is to embrace (with reluctance) the fact that the community I long for is largely online. There are many people in my position and that problem will grow exponentially over the next few generations. I want to work to make these spaces better places to be, for my own sanity and for my kids and grandkids. Even though I’ll be praying for the grid to go down the whole time. #bringonthezombies #Wolverines