I’ve had this striped dress sitting in my closet for years. I love it, but it’s an awkward length, so I’ve never worn it. Since none of my pants will button these days thanks to what my friend Liz would call a “pandemic snacksident”, it seemed like a good time to don the dress. I also realized, after years of lying awake and wondering who I can bribe to hem my dress at a shorter length, that my mother taught me to hem years ago, and it’s a task that I am, in fact, capable of.

But I was running late for work so I decided to just wear the dress as-is, mid calf length, regardless of how pregnant and/or homeschoolery it made me feel. I only made it about three laps around the house when I realized that the mid-calf thing was a no go. I just can’t. It’s too… modest. Besides, the only part of my body right now that I don’t hate seeing are my calves. So I cut the bottom off of the dress.

Just like that. Like I do with the necks of all my t-shirts. Hacked it off. Thought I cut it on the Stripe of An Appropriate Length, but it turns out, it was a stripe or three higher than my intended target. Luckily I didn’t have time to hem it today since that would have made it even shorter. As it is, a slight gust would render me NSFW.

It could be argued that this kind of, um… error in judgement is something that I do more often than I should. I tend to be a “cut first, measure later” kind of person and it doesn’t always bode well for my wardrobe or other parts of my life.

Sometimes I feel like I have emotional vertigo. Decision making seems overwhelming so I just do SOMETHING, anything, and hope for the best. I jump off the cliff to avoid a fall that seems inevitable. It’s a control tactic but sometimes it’s destructive - or counterproductive at least.

My “workout” lately has been putting on the skill of pausing. Jocko Willink talks about this tactic in several of his books (all of which I recommend) - how even in the heat of battle a pause to re-focus priorities when things are evolving quickly can be a game changer. I am not good at it. I am good at forcing my way through things even when all signs point to stop. I am not good at letting go of something when it is no longer the best strategy or the outcome won’t be what I wanted to start with. But that’s what I am working on. Knowing when it’s ok to quit, or at least stop and re-evaluate my action before I move. Measure first. Measure twice. Cut once. Don’t end up with a hoochie skirt. Also, if anyone out there want to help me fix this… and by help I mean do all the sewing, I would be happy to continue denying my hemming capabilities.