zythophile -noun - m (plural zythophiles)

A lover of beer

OK, let’s be honest. Other than your dog, nothing loves you as unconditionally as a good beer. Nothing gives you the relentless warm fuzzies better than a gentle lullaby whispered from the frothy embrace of a decent pint. Beer is love. Love is beer. I’ve been saying it for years, usually preceded by a hashtag, or, if you are a premillennial, the pound sign. (#beerislove). Beer doesn’t nag. It doesn’t make unreasonable demands or deliver irrational ultimatums. Beer doesn’t ignore, reject, avoid or ghost you. It’s just there, always loving you.

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and if you’re already entangled in a love affair that requires the effort of demonstration, can I recommend a beer date with your Valentine? Sure, wine and pasta is all good, and far be it from me to turn down a dozen red roses, but what says “be mine” quite like a growler of unconditional, or if you wish, cask-conditioned, beer love. Just to prove that I am not alone in my zythophilia, I have collected some of my favorite quotes about beer and love, and have matched them with a local beer. You might be able to argue with me, but who’s gonna challenge Ben Franklin?

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world” - Kaiser Wilhelm. We’re pretty sure ol’ Willy would be down with Republic Brewing Company’s Falligan’s Red, a hardy red made with rye malt that rings in at 5.3% ABV and 32 IBUs, easy drinking and enough to make the last King of Prussia swoon.

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” - Benjamin Franklin. Try RBC’s Bob’s Your Uncle, a light, biscuity bitter with an ABV of 3.7% and 30 IBUs. (P.S. Franklin’s original quote was about wine, but it has been so widely circulated in it’s incorrect form that I don’t feel bad about joining the misinformed masses. Also, I am sure Poor Richard meant wine AND beer.)

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” - Henry Lawson. Maybe he’s not talking about love, but he’s definitely talking about feelings, and what better feeling is there than love? Coming up blank? Try a Sunny Days APA from Northern Ales and you’ll get it. 4.8% ABV and 40 IBUs make it a loveable, drinkable delight, fit for a fool, or a lover, which might be the same exact thing.

“Beer is love.” - Liv Stecker. OK, so maybe she’s not a rockstar or one of our Founding Fathers or the King of Prussia, but she knows her beer and a thing or two about emotions (also, she is KIND of a rockstar). Try the Grouch Lager, 3.5% ABV and 8 IBUs, that’s always on tap at Northern Ales. You’ll be feeling the love.

“I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.” - Sid Vicious. If this resonates with you, we recommend that you try Quartzite’s Belshazzar Mountain Cascadian Dark Ale, a dark IPA that’s just like a big hug in a glass. The 7.2% ABV might help too.

And last, but certainly not least, an ode to beer written by Edgar Allan Poe, because nothing says love like a sonnet. We suggest a giant mug of Quartzite Brewing’s Goddard Peak IPA - the 6.7% ABV will make you swoon and 56 IBUs are like poetry for your tastebuds.

“Fill with mingled cream and amber,

I will drain that glass again.

Such hilarious visions clamber

Through the chambers of my brain.

Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies,

Come to life and fade away:

What care I how time advances?

I am drinking ale today.”