Ok, ok… we’ve all been there. A message pops up in your inbox from that long-lost high school friend that drifted away during college. Last thing you heard from her was some fuzzy-filtered fall-themed photo shoot on FaceBook with her perfect husband, perfect kids (one of each!) and perfect scarf in perfect weather, lounging between pumpkins and straw bales with just enough of her expensive Frye boots exposed to rub it in your face. You click on the message in morbid curiosity to find out what new way she has discovered to remind you of your two divorces, never-quite-finished bathroom remodel and the fact that the attendance office at the high school is still waiting for you to call back about reprobate child #4.

“Hey! How are you? I know it’s been a long time, I was just looking at my old scrapbooks and thinking about you.” *pause in confusion

Ok, you take the bait and respond with a skeptical hello.

“OMG, you always had the BEST hair in high school. Isn’t it weird how getting older changes things? I recently discovered a new hair care system and I am FINALLY loving my hair as much as I loved yours back when it was so thick and glossy…”

So apparently she saw the family photo my mom posted from Christmas when I hadn’t showered in three days and had been using the pillow-tease method for volume amplification on the back of my head.

Then the messaging begins in earnest. The floodgates have opened. Its links and pictures of before and after, testimonials of a thousand strangers who were nearly bald and now have perfect tresses.

There’s a reason that multi-level-marketing has a bad rap. Its history is rooted in the exploitation of relationships and manipulation. The gregarious and sometimes consequence-careless few profit off the gullibility of the masses, or the dislike we all have for disappointing people - even the ones who want to sell us something. It’s only a few resilient souls who stand steadfastly resolute against the onslaught of emotion-bending and well-groomed sales techniques.

But what if Direct Sales, pyramid Schemes and multi-level-marketing became the shopping model of the future? Hear me out - and as a disclaimer, I am not selling anything here… yet. 2020 hit us all hard. Most of our regular shopping patterns, among all of our other patterns, were changed dramatically. A year into this pandemic/political landscape and many of our favorite businesses are gone forever. For months, going out and trying things on, touching things, comparing price - it was all off the table. Things are reopening (in some lucky states) now, but we’re left with fewer options and for many of us in rural areas, it’s WalMart and the like. Personally, I’d rather not.

I started engaging in more of the direct sales parties, multi-level stuff that have popped up on FaceBook partially out of lockdown boredom. The sales tactics they employ require social (online) interactions, games, contests, ice breakers, and I was desperate for any level of human relationship. After awhile, certain products and companies proved themselves to me. There’s something to be said for the recommendations of people you know, and while my “friend” from high school might not fall in the limitless-trust category, word-of-mouth referrals are the best way to be sure you’re getting something good. For example, I always sort my Amazon choices by “best average rating", even though I know that most Amazon raters are hard-to-please nitpickers who have sent 98% of the things they buy back and cost retailers more money than those buyers will ever contribute to the economy. But if a good friend, neighbor or family member is vouching for a local restaurant, a clothing brand or a makeup line, I’m much more likely to try it.

Enter Direct Sales. Why are we so resistant to it? Maybe because of the Amway type scams, or the LulaRoe lawsuit. Maybe because the ones pushing things seems to have their picture-perfect life together and you know, deep down, how false it is. But admit it y’all - when you finally got bullied into trying that Norwex cloth (shameless plug for a friend) and the water streaks came off your stainless refrigerator for the first time, you were hooked. Or you keep going back to that one random friend-of-a-friend (also a shameless plug for a friend) for your Scentsy or DoTerra Fix until pretty soon she’s the only one who’s checking on you when you fall off the social radar in a seasonal depressive funk. The stuff that works sells itself. I found myself buying certain hair products off the Facebook black market after I cancelled a “membership” that I didn’t want to pay for. I was spending more to avoid commitment (which is sometimes worth it), than I was as a “Market Partner.” (OK, now maybe I am selling something.)

I have discovered my favorite makeup, skincare and cleaning products through multi-level-marketing groups. I buy Avon from a friend and Mary Kay from another friend. I’ve been embarrassed to admit it for a long time and I wouldn’t even tell anybody that I was a “dealer” for certain things. It just saved me money to sign up for stuff I was gonna buy anyway.

In a world where our favorite small businesses have all but disappeared, why not support the friends and neighbors we know who are helping to support their family, or at least their own shopping habits (*clears throat), by selling products they believe in? What are we so afraid of?

Direct to Consumer sales have been growing exponentially since the onset of the pandemic. Multi-level programs one-up traditional website sales in the relationship side of marketing. As one article I read explained, “relationships can’t be formed with websites.” Such is not the case with the dreaded pyramid scheme. In fact, I have some solid friendships with people that began under such stigmatized involvement.

I’ve developed a few tricks that I use when I am looking at a new company, multi-level or not.

1) Are they selling something I would be, or should be buying anyway?

2) What is their ethos? (who do they support, how are their products made, what is their mission)

3) Can I extricate easily?

4) Am I required to annoy my friends and relations? (this is an automatic out for me)

5) If I can’t use this stuff does it resell/Would people buy this outside of the program? I do a search on Mercari/eBay, etc, and when I see the stuff selling for what I can get it inside the program, I feel pretty good about it.

6) Do some research. Most multi-level companies will have lawsuits or some form of complaint against them somewhere. Dig a little deeper and see who is saying what. Always read the fine print of program requirements and if you don’t understand, ask your pyramid “upline” (did you Amway survivors just cringe?) for clarity.

I don’t always adhere to these rules like I should, I am insanely good at buying things I shouldn’t be, to be honest, but I am getting better at learning that one or two perfect things are better than a ton of almost-right-but-not-quite things. Don’t be a dummy (like I have been) and rush into something without understanding it or knowing what you’re getting, and don’t be afraid to return/complain/quit programs that aren’t right. It’s not that big of a deal and social media accountability has required companies to do a better job at customer service than they used to.

Anyway, it’s food for though, looking ahead to how we shop and relate and discover. If you’re interested in hearing about the products and companies that I love, let me know. Or I can just randomly pop up in your message inbox one day with my Valentine-themed photo shoot. No perfect husband or kids though so don’t worry.